Linking up today with Five Minute Friday where you write for 5 minutes about the word for today and then publish without editing or perfecting.
Real? What is real? I'm sure that people looking in on my life aren't sure what is real about it or not.
See, I have this fear. Probably stems from low self-esteem and such, but I get so afraid sometimes that people think that all I do is lay around watching tv and being lazy.
The real truth, well, yes, I do watch a lot of tv, more than I should. You see, it's a way that I try to distract myself. I can only pin so many things on Pinterest or play so many games of solitaire or whatever else I might try to do before I end up curled up in my recliner just wishing the pain away.
As part of the disability process I am going through, I had to meet with a psychologist this week. He met with me for all of 20 minutes and I keep asking myself, and others who know this process, how in the world he can provide an assessment when he doesn't know who I really am.
He doesn't see me fighting to sleep.
He doesn't see me unable to prepare meals.
He doesn't see me having to rest up for days in order to be out of the house for a few hours.
He doesn't see me relying more than I should have to on my daughter and husband because there are so many things I can't do for myself.
He doesn't see the pain in me because I've learned to put on a mask that others cannot see behind because of my fear, my fear of being judged lazy.
Looks like I have lots to say about being real. Five minutes just wasn't enough time. What about you? What do you have to say about real in 5 minutes? If you link up, let me know. I'd love to read your post.