I just don't know how to handle it all - wife, mom, more than full-time student, homeschool teacher, Bible study, etc., etc., etc. I'm really good at multi-tasking but this is even beyond me. How do you handle it all? Specifically for those who are married, how do you do everything you need to do and still have a good relationship with your husband??? I feel like Russ & I are passing each other going and coming. There is just not enough hours in the day. I've dropped everything I can and I still don't have enough hours in the day. I know this is just for a season and that I'll be through with school soon, but I don't want Russ & my marriage to suffer any further because we don't have time for each other. Any thoughts, advice, and definitely prayer is much appreciated!
Prayers coming your way, girl! This is something I think all women struggle with, especially those of us trying to live with the priorities we feel called to live by and be the woman we feel called to be at the same time. You will feel better when school is over- I know I did. Make sure to take time for you as well- you can't pour anything out of an empty pitcher.
ReplyDeleteCC... I'm sure you know I can *totally* relate to your problem...
ReplyDeleteCouple of things... once D goes into PS you'll find your load eased a bit. You need to make sure you aren't putting D ahead of R in your priority list. Hard - but necessary. D is old enough to help with things - ease up on expectations for the house, etc. and divide out household chores between the 3 of you (trust me - this helped us SOOO much - T was feeling like he had the whole load dumped on him and I felt like I couldn't possibly add anything else, but we divvied up cooking and cleaning responsibilities - kids are equal on that list, M started cooking when she was 9 - and it has started easing some of that stress)
Obviously, assignments and deadlines are as they are... set "assignments" for your family... give yourselves an afternoon a week. Give an evening a week to you and R. I know (really, I *know*) you feel like you can't give up that time, but trust me - if it is scheduled - just like a class, paper or test - it it so much easier to schedule your work load around it.
Now, lest I sound like I have it figured out... I DON'T!!! That is my goal and it seems to be working fairly well. I have my times where I am so stressed out I feel like puking - I know you've read about some of those times.
The biggest thing... there is NO SUCH THING as balance... and trying to find it will kill you!!! When you have exams/papers you will need to devote more time/energy to school. When you have a Bible study to give - that will get your time. When D has a ballgame or dance or whatever - that gets your time. When R has a crisis and needs his wife totally present - that is where all your energy should be focused. Try to balance it all, all of the time... doesn't happen.
...of course, when all of the above happens at the same time... then you go puke! :-)
First and foremost you must PRAY. God understands how heavy your load is and knows what your needs are. He will help you manage your time, if you let Him. You also must communicate with R. every chance you get. Rememer WHY you're doing what you're doing, for a better life. Have frequent family meetings to check in and see where there needs focus and how everyone is hanging in there. Have a date night once a week, PERIOD. Put it on your calendar and schedule it if you have to. You can spare a couple of hours for this, I'm sure! Take time for YOU, and put that on your calendar if you have to. Even if it's only a few minutes a day, take it! Spend time with the Lord, have a prayerful attitude. Remember He is where we get our strength! Without Him we can do NOTHING!!! I pray for you all daily and am always here for you no matter how many miles separate us!
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