31 Days to Become a Better Writer - Day 1

The longer I have thought about it, the more I realize I have been a writer for years! As I mentioned in my blogoversary post, I've been blogging in some sort or fashion for over 13 years now. Glancing through my blog posts, my writing has been primarily focused on pictures and family occasions (although there have been some exceptions to that of late). I also have a novel that I began writing several years ago and never finished. However, my primary form of writing has been papers for school. The way one writes for school, for college and seminary at least, is much different than the type of writing I desire for my blog. This has been in my thoughts over the last few months, but I struggled with figuring out how to change it. My friends at Allume must have been reading my mind though, because beginning today, they are hosting 31 Days to Become a Better Writer. I want feedback as I work through the exercises Allume gives us, so I am going to post here on my blog. Please help me in this journey to become a better writer!

Today's Challenge:

Write five nondescript sentences. Look at them again and re-write them to show and not tell what was happening. Go over them one last time and pump them full of interesting and descriptive words to really drive your point home!

My nondescript sentences:
1. I climbed the stairs to our room.
2. Damaris brought me mac&cheese for lunch.
3. The barking dog made me mad.
4. The cup of coffee was good.
5. I like to knit.

Show versus tell:
1. Slowly lifting each pain filled leg, I ascended the stairs to our room.
2. I hear the sounds of rumbling from within. A glance at the clock shows the small hand is almost to the 1. Damaris hands me a dish of gluten free macaroni and cheese with chicken to fill my hollow stomach.
3. The anger within me explodes. "Can you believe it?" I practically yelled at Russ. "Those dogs have been barking for over an hour!"
4. Steam rises from the surface of the dark liquid. As I take a sip, my taste buds explode with gratitude.
5. A ball of luxurious yarn, two sticks, and a pattern make me happy.

Pump them up:
1. The busyness of the day is complete or so my mind tries to trick me into believing. Before me, the stairs appear never-ending. The only relief in sight, my fluffy pillow and my comfy, cozy bed, can be found by slowly lifting each fibromyalgia pain filled leg one after the other until I reach the summit.
2. I hear the sounds of rumbling from within. A sharp glance at the clock shows the small hand is nearing the 1. In a seeming reversal of roles, my almost a woman 12 year old daughter Damaris gently hands me a dish. The creamy gluten free macaroni and cheese with chicken will fill my hollow stomach.
3. Punching the pillow for the zillionth time in what seems like days, I bolt upright. "Can you believe it?" I practically yelled at Russ. "Those dogs have been howling for over an hour!"
4. Tendrils of steam billow from the surface of the dark liquid. Grasping the handle of the ceramic mug, I savor the first drops of the morn. Fireworks erupt, my taste buds full of gratitude.
5. The map lays upon my lap. The two wooden sticks are firmly ensconced in my hands. I reach for the luxurious pink string. As one stick is wound, it gently pulls the yarn through the opening creating stitch upon stitch. Soon it becomes as a metronome, the creating, the rhythm, the beating of my heart.

Wow! That was hard work. I feel like I can see my sentences now. What do you think? Are you willing to take the first step of this journey with me? Come my friend, the task is Gargantuan, but not as much if we burden the load together.